


rest easy

by perculious



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: 707 | Luciel Choi's Real Name, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 11:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14212053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perculious/pseuds/perculious
Summary: About a year after Saeyoung leaves, Saeran wakes in the night.





	rest easy

**Author's Note:**

> this is short... I just wanted to imagine a world where not everything was so horrible for the Chois. (loud uncontrollable crying)

At first, Saeran doesn't know what wakes him.

The room is too cold for his thin blanket. It's not really a blanket—it was a big cloth sack that once held bulk rice, but he and Saeyoung ripped the seams out years ago and stuffed it in the corner of the room. Before Saeyoung left. Saeran has it wrapped around him, but the cold seeps through the holes in the rough fabric. His face, pressed against the wood floor, feels like it's submerged in ice water.

Then he sees it. There's a crack in the blinds that that woman hasn't noticed. It's just enough to allow one thin ray of moonlight to wriggle in, casting a slice of bright white on the floorboards. Saeran holds his breath. It's more light than he's allowed. He holds still, scared of making any noise that would cause his mother to come take this away. Maybe punish him for looking at it.

Then there's a rustle from the corner. Saeran startles, his muscles jumping, but he quickly tenses them into stillness once more. That woman passed out hours ago, too far gone to be awake yet now, but it's habit to remain as quiet as possible in the night.

It's probably a mouse. Saeyoung once told him they wouldn't get mice if they didn't leave so many crumbs around, and they both made an effort to clean their floors for a couple weeks. But what Saeran didn't say at the time was that he doesn't mind mice. At least they're a reminder that there are living creatures outside the walls of this house. And they're the only things Saeran has seen that are smaller and weaker than himself.

Without moving his head, he slowly rotates his eyes around to the corner near the window, to see the mouse.

Golden eyes stare back.

Saeran freezes.

His jaw clenches tight around the noise he wants to make. Every part of him tenses harder, from his shoulders to his curled toes. If he lets himself breathe he's going to start screaming. He holds even his eyelids still, until his eyes start to water from dryness.

No. He's crying. The realization distracts him enough that a wet, breathy exhale escapes. His hand shoots up to cover his mouth.

Saeyoung pads over on his hands and knees. He slides his hand over past the floorboard that creaks, and for some reason that's what convinces Saeran that this is real. Dream Saeyoung wouldn't have remembered. Saeyoung kneels beside him on the floor, lowering his head so he can whisper to Saeran with barely a sound, his eyes shuttered.

"You weren't supposed to wake up."

Saeran can't speak. It's not fear now, but shock. Saeyoung is supposed to be gone. Has been gone for a year now. Likely dead, that woman screamed at him over and over. _Or if he's not, he will be when I get my hands on him._ Saeran's had his own theories—that Saeyoung got lost, or hurt, or is hiding out somewhere planning a grand rescue, about to burst through the wall on a motorcycle and snatch Saeran up to take him away forever.

But Saeyoung is here. His eyebrows are drawn up and inward, and he gnaws on his bottom lip. He looks scared.

"It's best if you think this is a dream, okay?" Saeyoung mumbles.

Saeran's breath won't settle. He inhales in little gasps, then exhales in shaky bursts. "Saeyoung," he whispers. His voice is too loud, making him wince. She's drunk, he reminds himself, she won't wake up. His heart pounds anyway, his entire body alive with panic.

Saeyoung puts a finger to his mouth. "Not here," he says. "Not me. There is no Saeyoung, okay? It was wrong of me to come here... I just wanted to see you." He reaches a hand toward Saeran's head, then lowers it to the floor instead.

"But," Saeran says. Tears flood his eyes. He blinks them away, desperate not to let his vision of Saeyoung blur.

"Hey." Saeyoung seems to change his mind, because he picks up his hand again and ruffles Saeran's hair. "You're supposed to be gone from here by now, you know?"

Saeran doesn't know what to say to that. He wants to do what Saeyoung thinks he's supposed to do, but this doesn't make any sense.

"Your brother is stupid," Saeyoung breathes. "Stupid and nostalgic and making a really bad choice. Listen, Saeran." His face goes serious. He clenches his fingers a little in Saeran's hair, careful not to pull. "It's dangerous for me to be here. It puts us both in danger, but especially you. Okay?"

Saeran squeezes his lips together so he won't make a noise. There's a whimper lined up in his throat waiting to escape. But he tries to nod, his chin jerking down a fraction.

"So don't tell anyone about this dream." Saeyoung's face softens, his eyelids lowering. "I'm stupid and soft and I wanted to see you one last time. I wasn't strong enough to stay away and protect you. I'm sorry."

When Saeyoung moves his head, the thread of moonlight hits him, illuminating the edges of his messy hair like silver leaf. Saeran can't find the words he wants to say. Saeyoung is apologizing? Saeran forgives him, for everything, forever.

"And I have to go," Saeyoung says. "You won't tell anyone, right? You'll forget this?"

Saeran hesitates, then nods again. It feels bad to lie to Saeyoung. Keeping the secret is no problem—he's kept his mouth shut during a hundred beatings in the past, covering for Saeyoung's escape plans. But he knows he'll remember every second of this night. He will replay this a thousand times behind closed eyelids, memorizing Saeyoung's every word and facial twitch.

"Good." Saeyoung's chest rises and falls with a silent expression of relief. He lowers his head more, his hair almost brushing Saeran's. "Be strong, Saeran. I know you can."

His lips press against Saeran's forehead in a silent kiss. Saeran closes his eyes.

There's the slightest sound of fabric brushing wood as Saeyoung straightens, and Saeran can feel his presence fade as he turns away. He snaps his eyes open, scared of missing one second of Saeyoung being here, then closes them again, scared to watch Saeyoung leave. He wants to open his mouth and beg Saeyoung to stay, but if he does that, he might have to hear Saeyoung say no. So he shivers in the dark instead, eyes closed and body frozen stiff, like he does every time he hears the door to his mother's room open.

He stays like that, summoning the image of Saeyoung in his mind. He wants to lock in every frame of Saeyoung's visit, preserving the memory as something he can wield against the bad thoughts that will come. When he finally opens his eyes again, Saeyoung is gone. As if he'd never been there. As if it really was a dream.

Saeran turns his head to the side. The blinds have been rearranged, the miniscule gap closed, ensuring Saeran won't get in trouble for leaving it open. His skin crawls with a sudden chill.

Saeyoung isn't dead.

When daylight comes, that woman will wake up again. Years ago, she used to coo at Saeran, telling him he was precious to her even while she bound his ankles and left bruises on his arms. Lately everything he's done has been wrong. She's been angry since Saeyoung left, insulting Saeran for being in the house and screaming at him that he'd better not think of leaving. She could find fault in him even for lying motionless like this.

But when it happens, when she shrieks and attacks him, he'll have this secret. An armored shell to keep her out of his head while she's abusing his body. Saeyoung is alive, and he's staying away because he's trying to keep Saeran safe.

It's dangerous to move. Saeran presses his cheek to the floor, careful not to make a sound.

Slowly, silently, he allows himself to smile.

**Author's Note:**

> after this Saeyoung contacts V to be like, hey weren't you supposed to get Saeran out of our abusive home?? and guilts him into helping for real and then everything works out great and no one is sad, the end


End file.
